Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres

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Looking for a funny wedding reading? Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres is one of our favourite wedding poems…

“Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear.
And here’s the reason why:
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry.
And if we hear a knocking
And it’s creepy and it’s late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It’s you that has to mend it.
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It’s you that has to whack him.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,
You’re virile and you’re lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!!!

It’s you who has to work the drill
And put up curtain track,
And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I DO, I DO, I DO!!”

See more ideas for wedding readings here.

About the author

Written by: Izzy Turner-Hicks

Izzy has been writing about weddings for nearly 10 years. Izzy is recently married and since her big day, she's been able to add her own experience of the planning process to her articles.

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Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres

About the author