We all recognise speeches as the epicentre of weddings. The moment where everyone the happy couple loves gathers to eat, drink and belly laugh together as those at the top table take turns to delight them with feel-good anecdotes. There’s no great mystery to delivering a great wedding speech, but there are some easy traps to fall into - which can mean delivering a bad one. We asked the comedy writers at Speechy for their no-go areas...
1) Not Questioning The Line Up
Tradition dictates that three blokes – the father of the bride, the groom and the best man – offer celebratory toasts after the wedding breakfast and before the dash to the dance floor. Fair enough if that works for you, but have you considered alternative speakers?
Unsatisfied with smiling demurely from behind the prosecco bubbles, more brides than ever are stepping up to the mic and giving their hot take, with mother of the bride speeches and maid of honour toasts following suit.
Far fewer of us hail from the traditional nuclear family format these days, with many modern households being complicated and vibrant in all the best ways. Don’t feel bound by convention – invite the people you want to hear from most to say a few words and make this a truly memorable moment.
Image Courtesy of Speechy
2) Predictable Wedding Speech Gags
We’ve all sat through summers of carbon-copied wedding speeches, with the same jokes and clichés being churned out to some weak, slightly-reluctant laughter. The internet is a wonderful tool for many reasons but be in no doubt – any gag you find on there will have long since had its day in the sun.
Instead, take your cue from stand-up comedians and use your own observations to craft original, authentic humour. Illustrate the things your audience will easily recognise about the person you’re roasting, whether it’s their lifelong fear of domestic pets, their Manga-style hair or their ability to carry half of Waitrose in their tiny bag.
Be specific too - the groom’s nearest and dearest might already know he’s a Star Wars geek but be delighted to learn that he still keeps his office stationery in a Han Solo pencil case!
3) Too Many Thank-Yous
Of course, our appreciation for our loved ones brims over on a day filled with joy and friendship, but try and keep the accolades to a minimum during your speech. Your audience’s needs are simple. Your audience wants to be entertained without having their concentration levels tested. Don’t make them feel they have to fix a smile to their jaws while you reel off your indebtedness to everyone from your great-nan to the caterer.
Another bugbear of the Speechy team is gift-giving during the speeches. Not only might this alienate those who were hoping for a personal mention, it’s not particularly fun to sit through for anyone. Save them for a more personal and less public display before or after the wedding.
Remember, if minutes go by without your guests either laughing or nodding along in amusement, you’ve lost them. The best man in particular has no need to thank anyone; just keep the belly laughs coming and you’ll be fulfilling your duty.
Image courtesy of Speechy
4) A Slow Start
The Speechy writers recommend wedding speakers aim for a laugh within the first twenty seconds – yes, those writers are nothing if not taskmasters! But it’s true – humour is essential for grabbing an audience’s attention from the off.
When drafting your speech, ditch anything that feels weak – three solid anecdotes within your wedding speech are more powerful than fifteen feeble ones. Like all storytelling, your speech should tie together somewhat coherently with a beginning, middle and end. Try keeping your narrative tight with an overarching theme; it makes sense to relate this to a personality or occupation trait of the person you’re talking about.
If the bride’s a hotshot lawyer, your speech might be court-themed. Begin by swearing to tell the truth and the whole truth […ominous pause…] then bring forward ‘evidence’ to prove that she will make an excellent wife. You can end by ‘sentencing’ her to a life of adventure, shoulder rubs, and Netflix box sets.
5) Relying On "Dutch Courage"
Sadly it’s a myth that alcohol will give your wedding speech a boost. It’s far more likely to have the opposite effect of forgotten punchlines, inappropriate references and slurred words.
Although it’s a known social lubricant, booze is actually linked to higher anxiety levels. So, even if your confidence temporarily increases, lowered inhibitions aren’t always desirable when you’re addressing a crowd with various sensibilities.
Be especially aware if someone’s filming the speeches; you don’t want this moment to come back and haunt you on a ‘most embarrassing speech fails’ YouTube compilation. Without coming across as the temperance police, try and limit your intake before your big moment and instead celebrate with something cheeky after the toast. You’ll have earned it.
Speechy is a team of elite TV and radio scriptwriters who work with couples worldwide to transform their stories into amazing wedding speeches. They’re offering Guides for Brides visitors an exclusive 10% off all of their bespoke services throughout May. Visit speechy.com and use GUIDES4BRIDES at checkout.