It happens to the best of us – our once carefree friend starts to transform from her usual lovely self into a wedding-obsessed bridezilla. If your bride is starting to turn a little monstrous, don’t panic! We’ve put together a bridesmaid survival guide for dealing with a bridezilla…
Planning a wedding is stressful, and can bring the bridezilla out in the best of people – but luckily, it’s also temporary. Remember that your bride is under a lot of pressure, and try not to take it too personally when she gets picky. Instead of snapping back and starting a fight, do your best to breathe and let it go. Don’t be a doormat, but let her know your thoughts diplomatically (and ideally when she’s calm and not in a panic).
Talk to her
You can sometimes nip a bridezilla in the bud by addressing the situation early on. Take her out for a coffee or a glass of wine and ask if there’s anything stressing her out, as she doesn’t seem to be herself lately. If she’s upset you, be honest and let her know that you understand that she’s under a lot of stress, but that she’s hurt your feelings. Hopefully, she should see the error of her ways and be more mindful in future. Whatever you do though, don’t use the word ‘bridezilla’ to describe her!
Pick your battles
Choose wisely when it comes to pushing back on your bride’s demands, otherwise you’ll feel that you’re constantly battling each other and everyone will become frazzled. If she’s picked bridesmaid dresses that you’re not a fan of, or you can’t think of anything worse than the stripper she’s demanded for her hen, it may be easier just to embrace it. However, the one area where you should always speak up is if she’s insisting on expensive options that you can’t afford, such as hair and makeup, bespoke shoes or a luxurious hen abroad. Just let her know gently that you can’t afford it, and suggest an alternative – being a bridesmaid shouldn’t put you in debt.
Don’t gang up on her
It may be tempting, but resist the urge to complain to the other bridesmaids about the bride. If you need to vent, then chat to someone outside of the wedding party about your frustrations. If you and the bridesmaids begin to talk behind the bride’s back, then the atmosphere will quickly become sour and you’ll just egg each other on, so quickly diffuse any group complaining.
Know when to quit
Sometimes taking the higher ground and being honest simply isn’t enough. If your bride has become too irrational to deal with, or you’re being asked to do something you’re just not comfortable with (such as lose weight or spend too much money), it may be a good time to tell your bride honestly that you’re not sure that you can be there for her in a bridesmaid capacity. Try to avoid a massive blow-out fight if you can, as this kind of thing can end friendships, but if you’re honest now, it may save your relationship in the long run.