Tips from The Wedding Fixer: How to handle parents input and expectations for your wedding
Episode three of W Channels’ new hit show, The Wedding Fixer, focused on the wedding of Simon and Kirsty. In this episode, Sarah Haywood was called in to help the couple from Birmingham take back control of their big day from a remarkable force, Kirsty’s mum. While her mother was only meaning well, the couple felt that they had completely lost control of their big day. With Sarah on hand to help manage the situation, the couple were able to have the wedding day they dreamed of.
We know that this is a concern for many couples, so we asked Sarah for her expert advice.
My parents are overstepping, how should I react?
Honesty is the best policy, however, you’ll want to be sensitive with this subject. As your parents, they probably mean well and don’t realise they are overstepping. Consider telling them which parts of your wedding you want full control over and which you are happy for them to get involved in.
Give your parents the power to make decisions on certain minor elements to keep them happy and actively involved; then only ask their opinion where you feel necessary for other elements. Perhaps they can help you source your florist or even organise the celebrant.
Sarah’s tip: Remember, for your parents, your wedding might be even more important to them than their own wedding day was!
What if my parents are paying for all or part of the wedding?
Many parents want to contribute something to the weddings of their children. Some are willing to foot the entire bill due to tradition or simply because they want to. Others are keen to help with the financials by paying for certain crucial elements of the day.
While you’ll want to have full control of how the money is spent, remember that your parents contributing to the wedding is a wonderful and generous gift. Have some patience with their opinions (even if you disagree) and make sure they know you are listening.
Sarah’s tip: If they are contributing financially, they may well, reasonably, expect to be heard. Allocate those funds to something specific and let them assist them in how it’s spent. If you choose to spend it on the alcohol, let them choose the wine.
What should I do if my parents are getting too involved with the guest list?
This is an inevitable problem for many couples. It may be your wedding day, but your parents will want you to invite a handful of their good friends. These people have seen you grow up to be the person you are. However, make sure you set some clear limitations. It’s important to keep everyone happy, but also remember that this is your wedding and you must have room for those that mean the most to you.
Sarah’s tip: Present a united front to your parents, but give them some boundaries. Allocate how many people they can choose to invite. They are then responsible for choosing which people come within that allocation.
You can see Sarah Haywood in action on The Wedding Fixer, airing on W Channel, Tuesdays at 10pm and Sundays at 7pm.
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