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Should you compromise personal beliefs for your wedding?

Should you compromise personal beliefs for your wedding?


Alison Hargreaves Guides for Brides Bio
Alison Hargreaves Updated:
8th of March 2023

We all want our weddings to be personal and reflect who we are as people. However, sometimes you may feel pressure to compromise your own personal beliefs for your big day. For example, what happens when you don't drink alcohol but your guests do? Do you serve alcohol or keep it an alcohol-free zone? We're here to help you decide whether you want to go along with your personal views, or whether you are going to compromise them for the sake of your wedding guests.

confused bride

1) I don't drink and don't want alcohol at my wedding.

So you're teetotal and all your guests aren't! What should you do? If you don't really agree with alcohol then this can be a difficult decision to make. If you hold strong views then your guests will most likely know this and should understand and support your decision - after all, it is your big day! Make the drinks more exciting by offering interesting alcohol free alternatives such as cocktails or milkshakes. However, if you don't drink but don't want to set any rules then allow your guests to make their own choice - it could be quite nice to be the only one waking up without a hangover...

2) I'm a vegan and don't want to serve meat at my wedding.

Being a strict vegetarian or vegan can be a dilemma when it comes to the wedding breakfast. It's your big day and it only seems fair that your menu should reflect you and your fiancé's personalities and beliefs. For some people, serving meat at their wedding would be against everything they believe in. Whilst certain food may not be to everyone's taste, try to compromise in certain areas - possibly choosing popular vegan or vegetarian dishes which most people would like. Remember that everyone has different tastes so it will always seem impossible to please every single guest. 

3) My partner wants a traditional Church wedding but I'm not religious.  

Having a religious or particularly traditional partner can cause problems when it comes to wedding planning. Whilst they may be expecting a Church ceremony, you may be dreaming of a more modern alternative. Unique ceremonies are becoming more and more popular; from gin distilleries to beaches, there are so many amazing places to have your wedding ceremony. Sit down with your partner or parents and discuss which parts (if any) of a religious ceremony are important to you. There may be a way to introduce certain elements into another part of the wedding day, or on another day. 

4) I don't want to invite children to my wedding.

Children are always a tricky one as they are an additional cost and often require a certain level of supervision and entertainment. Guests can sometimes get offended when they notice that their little darlings aren't on the invitation. To minimise any bad feeling, our advice would be to stay consistent. Make sure that no children means no children - refrain from inviting your best friend's child but not your cousin's. As long as people don't feel like you've favoured some children over others then they can't really complain! 

5) I want to get married abroad but my guests might not be able to come. 

Getting married abroad can be a costly expense for your guests as they have to consider flights, accommodation and spending money. There is no easy way around this and whilst some guests may incorporate your wedding into their annual holiday (if given plenty of notice), others may not be able to. Before deciding that you definitely want to get married abroad, consider whether you'd be happy with only a small proportion of your guests attending. If you are, then go ahead and start planning your destination wedding! Be sure to plan a big party back home to celebrate your nuptials with loved ones who couldn't make it.

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Alison Hargreaves Guides for Brides Bio

About the author


Alison Hargreaves

Alison has been advising brides, grooms and bridesmaids for more than 25 years. She has an unrivalled knowledge of the British wedding industry and frequently appears on podcasts and expert panels. She regularly attends international wedding conferences to keep the UK at the forefront of wedding planning trends.

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