Gone are the days when three blokes took turns standing up to churn out groansome marriage jokes recycled from the last wedding they attended. Women are not only giving more speeches – they're good at it too. Among these confident speakers are courageous mothers, witty Maids of Honour, and even the bride herself, each adding their own touch of charm to the day and making laughter roar through the wedding venue.
Research shows 1 in 3 brides are taking the mic
We are seeing a growing number of brides and women taking the mic at weddings. In November 2023, we asked women whether they'd give/have given a speech at their wedding. Over a third (32.6%) said yes. It is definitely a trend we expect to see in the younger Millenial and Gen Z brides, with just over half (53%) of 16-24 year olds and 41% of 25-34 year olds saying they'd give a speech at their wedding.
Top three reasons given by women to make a speech at their wedding included: wanting to express their own thanks (60%), finding doing so empowering (29%) and having the belief that only male line-ups for the wedding speeches is too old-fashioned (18%).
We asked Wedding Speech Expert, Heidi Eller-McDermott from Speechy for her take on why more women are taking the mic at weddings...
From the experts
Are you are wanting to give a bride speech at your wedding, but have no idea about where to start? Here, the team of expert wordsmiths at Speechy have walked us through crafting a great bride speech.
They're not the only women we expect to see taking the mic though, mums and bridesmaids are also joining the line-up! When asked "Would you/did you invite your bridesmaids to make a speech?", 37% of women answered yes to this too.
Speech Roles
Whether you're giving your bride speech at a same sex wedding or shaking up traditional gender roles at a straight wedding, it's helpful to know what's expected of you, so you can avoid doubling up on the thank yous or the anecdotes.
If you're going for the surprise speech, aim to at least have a sense of which family and friends your partner is planning on mentioning. If they're already paying tribute to all the important folk, you can crack on with just the core people – i.e. both sets of parents and your bride squad.
Do try to make sure your thank yous feel unique rather than a repetition of your partner's. So, cut out the meaningless platitudes and get specific. Rather than thanking your in-laws for ‘welcoming you to their family', thank them to introducing you to Canadian Riesling and expanding your palate beyond Pinot Grigio.
If you're openly sticking your speech on the schedule, you can share out the thank yous and negotiate who gets to tell your favourite anecdotes and recount the story of your first date where your partner arranged to meet you in Starbucks because they'd forgotten your name.
Bride Speech Etiquette
If you're speaking alongside a conventional groom, best man and father of the bride line up, the good news is that your speech has no strict rules to follow – you can say what you like, how you like.
That said, it might be worth keeping these three goals in mind:
- make everyone feel welcome
- show your appreciation for special loved ones
- make your partner feel adored and roasted in equal measure!
Keep the thank yous light, fun and short – resist the urge to namecheck half the guest list. Keep each thank you less than 50 words and don't just mention what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they've brought to your life – the dafter the better.
Don't Go Too Deep
You might be thinking your speech is about getting dewy-eyed and leaving singletons sighing in awe of the love you've found. Nope, sorry.
Smug love declarations are off limits even in a wedding setting. If you can't picture testing your speech on your mates down the pub without them cringing into their pints, it probably needs a rewrite.
A bride's speech shouldn't be any more romantic or any less humorous than the groom's. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make your family and friends snort-laugh at your cheeky depiction of your relationship, while also making them go ‘aww'.
Speech Material
All speeches should have a comedy element – in fact, the more humour there is throughout, the more profound the serious stuff feels at the end.
Finding genuine humour is easier than it sounds, so don't cheat by pinching naff jokes off the internet. No one expects a stand-up routine, just cast your mind back to the moments which still bring a bubble of giggles to the surface and go from there.
A great source of wit can come from being honest about what you two regularly debate. Exaggerate whatever seems to be a running theme in your relationship – from tampering with the thermostat, to moving one another's phone chargers – and send yourselves up for it.
Read more on the wedding speech mistakes you should avoid.
Create A Rom Com Character
Every bride thinks she's marrying someone handsome, funny or kind, but a heartwarming tribute to your partner needn't paint them as perfect.
Avoid cliches and instead consider what makes them properly unique. Have you always been perplexed by their habit of removing one sock to watch telly? Do they have an encyclopaedic knowledge of cheese spiders?
Be honest. Guests would rather hear the truth of what it is about your Dungeons and Dragons-nerding/cider-swilling/secret Love Island-watching partner that makes your heart throb.
Tell a Story
Rather than reeling off a collection of anecdotes – however much they make you chuckle – aim to tie them in with a more structured narrative. It'll make your speech flow more naturally, and building on a theme will keep your audience hooked.
Once you've written your speech, be ruthless in cutting anything that doesn't still make you smile after reading it through several times.
Go for one hilarious story instead of three funny-ish ones, and aim to speak for no longer than 7 minutes. Leave them wanting more, not zoning out.
And make your toast meaningful – ideally something your partner and guests will recognise about you as a couple, like ‘a lifetime of whooping your ass on Mario Kart/perfect cheese toasties/dancing in fields'.
A Confident Delivery
Writing a great speech is arguably the hardest part. But don't fall at the final hurdle with a weak delivery. Heidi recommends that you practice enough to have basically memorised your speech but feel free to use cue cards on the day.
From the experts
Make sure you can be heard by everyone in the room – check out the acoustics of the venue ahead of time and get a mic if necessary.
Relax your shoulders, take a few deep breaths before standing up to speak, and make sure you're well hydrated. Use body language and gesture to your partner for comedic effect. Eye contact with your guests goes a long way – allow your gaze to move around the room!
Talk slower than you usually would, leave space for laughter, and smile! If you look like you're enjoying yourself, your audience will too.
The Speechy team are TV scriptwriters by trade and after writing speeches for hundreds of amazing brides around the world, they're rated ‘excellent' on Trustpilot.
Thanks so much to Heidi and the team at Speechy for all of these awesome tips. Listen to our podcast with Speechy to hear more ideas, tips and advice for writing and delivering an incredible bride speech.
If you need some assistance writing your speech, get in touch with the Speechy team.